Transmissions from the Satellite Heart

It seems..it will rain.. You’re happy about it aren’t you?

It is a blessing..blessing for our fields. Insha-Allah we will have good harvest this year.

But the crops, they won’t be reaped ‘till February. You won’t be here anymore.

Yeah but I’m not worried. I trust you. You’ll know how to manage thru in this deal. I shall give you instructions. Would that be ok?

Uh..Yeah I guess.

Nah..You can do it. You'll be fine.

He put down the cup of coffee on half spilled and he didn’t care. His nonchalant smile gleamed at me from across the wooden table. It was a semi-bright still afternoon. I would always remember these moments when me and dad would have laid-back conversations. I’m just happy he’s with me. Each year, for all the years of my life, he’s been spending vacations with us. Either Christmas or Summer, our house becomes a home, complete with all of the family, present and together. Each year, for fifty-two days.

My first meeting with my father was very unlikely for me. I had to make some real improve, a good coy of what it would feel like to be with him, in a picture. Mother would always build him up like a superhero who, though far away from us, will always just be near, because he’s supportive, loving, and telekinetic. She would write captions on the back of my pictures and send it to dad, as if I wrote it, as if I was a smart 3 year old kid. I felt for mom ever since. I have learned how it became such a struggle for my parents to live apart for a long time now. She wrote her all-occasion letters, and recorded our taped messages. I would participate in a scripted happy message. I thought we’re only making a school project. I was feeling indifferent still after we’ve finished.

The years passed. I now have an adorable sister who best suited in a wrestling match, if not in heated debates as we grew older. (Physical pain I would prefer is better.) From baby-hoods to sweet-sixteens to mid-life crises, dad has possessed his superpowers and promises. We’ve not never ever been spoiled brats, nor crazed with latest gizmos. (nevertheless The Moffatts had invaded and became a phenomenon.) From recitals to PTA’s to loyalty awards, events happening to students we are, father was all busy, all patient and homesick, all determined to give us a better life, I have all understood.

I wish to be positive that my parents have succeeded in bringing us up to – if only possible – be the kindest, most endearing kids. Well I’m not going to brag, simply because there’s no reason to. But like I said, all the determination I’ve seen from my father’s eyes, providing for and raising us his children, is the toughest as a president’s responsibility. He took it so seriously, and we know we made his mind bleed more often. That alone is one reason I am grateful for a father so loving, a reason in a million more.

Now that I’m older, I’d hate to say grown-up, but yes I am learning from the good and the not-so-good circumstances and phases in my adult life. I am happy I could distinct in between differences, all because my father taught me so. He’s always this hugely mild influence in the process of making my own decisions. He is truly one figure I look way, way up to.

We’ve had much interesting times talking in his precious free time. We’ve debated in mostly religious matters. It was more spiced up considering he’s a Muslim and I, an apprentice to become a vegetarian Buddhist. I didn’t mind though as long as we both agreed animal slaughter is against the law of God. All the insights he would unconditionally testify and define for me, as if he’s the greatest Imam ever lived. I've never felt his energy emanated that way again. I would always be enlightened. Then there was business talk. I would always pretend to be sleepy. I am bad at math.

Nah..You can do it. You'll be fine.

Uh..Yeah I guess.

That is how our relationship has evolved. It was unique in a way, as at times I have confused longing with sadness. It was a crazy long distance affair. I love my father to death. If only I could possess the same superpowers he has, I’d probably be in a hologram talking to him in person at this same exact time. Can't afford 3G.

Oh well. I could always put it in words.

I miss you dad. I'll make coffee again for you soon.